SIDE MISSION 01 – RAT RACE – PART 2
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“… Aaand we are back folks. Once again I am Johnathan Archer, with me is Petra Maple, star and producer of Not MY ASS! 1-3. It’s been a few hours of highlights, but our live coverage continues now. Our teams are now all being dropped into the frozen wilderness of Russia. Now despite the fact that all the teams made it to the airport at different times, they are all dropping at the same time. We are just dropping each team consecutivly further from the objective. This keeps the front teams from getting too comfortable this early in the race, and allows the teams in the back to make up for the bad start. Lets take a look at Shadow team this time, our front running newcomers, behind Augmented Reality, and the Apocalypse Riders. Petra…”
“Thanks Johnathan, The elf Marius runs to follow Bear out of the plane. The cold syberian wastes are below. They are making a low jump here I’m told folks, only a few seconds of freefall before the chute automaticaly opens. Looks like Bear goes through a tree, the Elf finds a safe landing zone, and the orc Chekov makes a rough landing, no doubt his large frame hurt him there, John.”
“Speaking of large framed Orcs, some of you may recall one of Petra’s later films, Orcfest: Too Much Thick Cock, Tell me Petra, what was filming that like?”
“Well, looks like Shadow Team has regrouped and is examining the contents of the packs. They sure are taking their sweet time John, this could hurt them in the long run. The Mall Ninja’s are in 5th and are closing fast. the 6th place team of the Fembots are moving, but are much further behind.”
“Speaking of behind, one of my favorite Petra Maple films is one from early in her carrier entitled Every Sexy Woman Has A Man Behind Her, hmmm.. Well, anyway. As the other teams are moving we will take a minute to discuss what they will all discover in their packs, Petra…”
“Yes John, it looks like each pack contains cold weather gear, as well as one pack having a map, a key marked with a number, and a compass. the teams will make it to the next destination, open a locker and discover the next destination along with another key, and a combination. Lets watch a few highlights from the first Harvest race while our teams make there way toward the destination.”
The second task was to cross miles of Siberian tundra to locate a set of lockers containing info, supplies and a destination for the next part of their trip.
…
“Oh looks like trouble in frozen paradise here Petra, Our dwarf has fallen and twisted his ankle I think. The team helps him up and moves forward against the icy wind. These winds can create temperatures of 10-15 degrees Fahrenheit… This should slow our team down.”
Most of the exploration / travel between points of interest was extrapolated through various rolls simulating what the party was doing over the course of a day. Depending on what they were doing, this meant making driving, navigation, survival, climbing or athletics rolls against low difficulty thresholds. Failure meant they took damage, usually Stun, reflecting difficulty completing a portion of the travel. This kept things moving on the whole for what was, strictly speaking, a pretty long, multi-day adventure, while still allowing us to zoom in on the details that mattered.
…
“As we have seen John, three of our teams have made it to the destination so far. Augmented Reality was first, Followed by the Mall Ninja’s who managed to pass both the Apocalypse Riders, and Shadow Team on the tundra. The Apocalypse Riders have been slow moving across the frozen wastes, and have only just made it into the frozen cave. Lets check in with our 4th place team, Shadow Team. It looks like the destination is in sight. WOAHHH! Apparently our Orc can transform into a BEAR!! This is an unexpected development folks… I wonder why he waited… Little do the Apocalypse Riders know there is a FUCKING BEAR on the way in.”
“That’s right Petra. Speaking of fucking animals-“
“Looks like we have some action in the cave, John!”
“Right, lets see, Shadow Team is making their way inside the cave, the first Rider has seen him, he raises a shotgun at the bear BUT IT’S TOO LATE! As the Head rider lifts his shotgun Marius the elf drops him with two incredibly placed shots from a pistol! While the Apocalypse Rider did draw first, that is debatably self defense, I wonder what the judges will say about this one! OH MY! the Dwarf is a mage as well! A bolt of energy has blasted the remaining two. The bear backhands the 2nd into a locker. The third rider unleashes with a machine pistol, striking the bear multiple times and the elf takes a hit. The elf drops him with another volley from that pistol… those must be non lethal rounds right?”
This was the first real point the party worried about the rules and whether they might get disqualified. I made them wait until the end to find out if their actions here would disqualify them.
“Look at this John, with the bikers all uncounscous, the Elf steals the bikers locker content. He covers the entrance, while the Dwarf opens their locker. This is good defense, John. What is the dwarf doing?”
“Looks like he is knocking an arrow Petra, He has just fired two explosive arrows onto the top of the cave, causing an avalanch of snow to fall down in front of the opening. Of the four teams that have made it to the cave, The Shadow Team is the third to leave. Impressive, they have regained their position, possibly dropped one team out of the race completely and slowed the others. They begin their trek across the frozen tundra.”
“Ok John, one of the other teams has left a small trap here, lets see if our team notices the hazard. Oh.. Oh… OHHH!! the dwarf makes the save at the last possible second, that folks, could have been a game changer… That will force them to slow down a little bit, huh?”
“Sure will Petra, speaking of slowing it down, one of Petra’s more fringe titles was Jamie and the Short Bus, a tale of a girl, who has to ride the short bus home and, if I recall the twist ending, I believe most of the boys on the short bus end up riding her!”
…
“Petra, It Looks like Shadow Team has cleared another trip wire. Soon they will make it to their destination. Lets cut over to some interesting developments in the back of the pack. It seems that the Apocalypse Riders are not content to disappear into the good night and instead have decided that if they will steal another teams locker contents to win. They have engaged three of the other teams in combat.”
…
“Well John, looks like Shadow Team has reached the destination, a team of skiers blasts past them. Their destination, folks, is the monorail system at the ski resort. Looking for a ski destination vacation? Gladenkaya Ski resorts has what you are looking for, placed in the scenic wilderness of northern Syberia, this Russian destination has all the comforts of the western world, at third world prices!”
“Speaking of discount price, Trailer Girls of Mall Mart 17 is one of my all time favorite Petra Maple films… Oh, looks like three teams have made it to the monorail platform… The Mall Ninja team and the Dream Team, somehow way up from 7th place, also is approaching. Lets see what the Shadow Team does. Looks like the dwarf has turned one of the Mall Ninja guys into stone, We have seen some unusual tactics at play in this race in past years, but this one is new on me.”
“John, the Dream Team, and the Shadow Team both occupy the same train, I wonder how many other teams , if any, are aboard. Lets check in with some of the other teams while this train heads to Bejing.”
…
In the lockers in Siberia, the team found a safe combination and the address for a building in Bejing.
“The Dream Team, and Shadow Team are heading into Bejing. The destination they are headed too, John, is a large building with a safe on the 25th floor. Once they get that they will proceed to the top of the building where they will find their next mode of transportation. This building is still under construction.”
“Construction Fucktion 6… now that was a film-“
“John! Can we please stay focused on the race?”
“Right, thank you, Petra. Looks like they are planning on climbing up… What they hell? THEY CAN FLY!?! Shadow Team soars up to the 32nd floor, and climb down the remaining floors. During a room by room search they find another safe, without their number. Wait, whats this? Looks like one of the other teams has planted an explosive device! Marius the elf removes the detonator and throws it across the room just in the nick of time, the detonator explodes, but the bomb does not go off. Amazing!”
“Looks like they have located the safe, and are begining to work the lock. The dwarf, Bear, works that safe like a pro, and they find a data chip. The team begins to sprint up the stairs. An EXPLOSION has rocked the building. Looks like there was another one of those bombs, John.”
“Looks like these Shadow Team members are at it again. Now that the team has cleared the compleated portion of the building, they propel themselves up the remaining 50 flights by levitation. This is one of the most magically inclined teams we have ever seen in this race. Thats it team, GET TO THE CHOPPA!!! The helicopter takes off and the team is being flown away. Just as the sun rises their comlinks will beep, hopefully that wakes these folks up.”
Its always a little frustrating when your players short circuit your plans. I had designed a semi elaborate scene that had the players climbing the scaffolding of a partially completed building as another team came up behind them, including a small firefight that might go on while they were each climbing up. Then I was reminded that the team had access to levitation spells. Woops.
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