Seattle Side Mission 01: Rat Race – Part 1

Written by: Marius           Played on: 10 Oct 2011
PREVIOUS: Mission 03 – Impound
NEXT: Side Mission 01 – Rat Race – Part 2

We meet our Johnson at a race track, the horse kind. After a quick pat down, we enter the private booth and take seats. Mr Johnson is an older man in his sixties, but appears in good health. He begins talking about horse races and other BS. He asks us if we have ever heard of the annual Harvest Race. A competitive but friendly race, that will take us in and out of Seattle.

We get some details, the race is supposed to be relativly clean. With an emphasis on racing honorably. We will be provided with any needed vehicles, at the time. We have one week to prepare.

This was a one off side mission as about half of our regular players were out of town or otherwise unable to attend. When I posed the question to Marius, Chekov and Bear’s players about what they wanted to do, Marius suggested an Amazing Race type of event. I gave it a Shadowrun spin and so the annual Harvest Race was born.

We begin our preparations, Chekov talks about the possibility of turning us into animals. I buy 3 helmets for 50¥ each. Bear picks up rope, and fresh arrows. I pack my Gecko Gloves, many stun rounds for my holdout pistol, and my rifle with a few magazines.

We are picked up by a towncar, and taken to a ware house in northern Seattle. Many Limos are present. We cannot see anyone openly carying, but “monkey suite” type armed men are about.

We head inside and find a mostly empty ware house. About 15 older men are inside, hanging out in comfortable chairs on a raised platform. There are about 15ish other teams.  Some are dressed like athletes in adventure gear, some are other runners, one group appears to be from a biker gang. There are maybe 3 other meta-humans besides us in the room.


The event was intended to be an illegal, underground betting competition among wealthy individuals with nothing better to do, based off the 2001 film, Rat Race. The “life coverage” was added by Marius when he wrote the log. It works either way though.

“Hello Everyone, This is Johnathan Archer here with your LIVE coverage of the Harvest Race, With me today is former adult film star, Petra Maple. You may remember Petra from such films as Cum Guzzling Sluts 3, Band Full of Brothers 2 the KY Connection, and of course, her popular reality hit, Worlds Next Fuckhole.  Petra…”

“Thanks John, It’s great to be here at this amazing event, as you are aware this is my first year covering this, so you will have to fill me in on a few details.”

“Sure Petra, I have wanted to fill you in for a few years now”

“Oh, you… HA! Well folks we will be back in a few minutes to cover the content of the drivers meeting and to see the start of the raceA”

“And we are back folks, Once again I am Johnathan Archer, and this is the lovely Petra Maple, who you may remember form such adult classics as The Booty Patrol 1-6, 13, and 27; as well as Stroll Along Fucking; and The Mile High City, of Cock. For those of us new to this race, Petra will repeat the rules that are being covered in the drivers meeting, Petra..”

“Thanks John, well the rules are few, and simple:

1. Every team is tracked by a hover drone, in addition to capturing the action for you, the viewers, this allows the judges to watch for inappropriate behavior. Tampering with ANY drone is grounds for immediate disqualification.

2. Leathal Violence is prohibited. Friendly competition is expected, but teams cannot take any action that could result in the death or permenant injury of a fellow competitor.

3. Self defense is permitted, but no engagement beyond self defense is permitted with law enforcement, or civialians.

4. The first team to return here with the object is the winner, anything to add John?”

The rules were intended to complicate an otherwise straight forward series of obstacles, ideally without forcing a long, fruitless discussion about “what exactly does ‘self defense’ mean” or other similar minutia. Going into it, I knew I was also going to violate the rules with some of the competing teams, which would give the group another complication to deal with.

“Just one clarification Petra, While deadly force is prohibited, competition is encouraged and there will be no lack of excitement for our spectators. With 12 teams to watch there will be few dull moments. The few that there are will be interupted at times by brief commercial advertisement, or by highlights from this and past Harvest Races.”

“John, they are coming out!”

The first task giving to the teams was to reach a nearby airport where a plane was waiting for them.

“Yes, indeed they are Petra. All the teams are sprinting towards the towncars they came in, and getting under way. The first three cars have cleared the gate, but something is wrong, it looks like one of the racers in the lead cars must be an mage, because some unseen force has stopped the 4th car, OHH! A big hit by one of the limos forces him through.”

“Quite a delay for those other cars, that mess will take a few minutes to clear.”

“Right you are Mrs. Maple, lets take a look inside the 3rd car… This team, which we are calling Shadow Team, has three members, Marius, an elf; Bear, the Dwarf is navigating and the third passenger, an Orc named Chekov. They manage to clear any major traffic and make good time. Looks like in the lead we have last years champions, Augmented Reality, and in second is the Apocalypse Riders. This is shaping up to be quite the race already. Lets take a look at a clip of the start of last years race, some of you may remember the crippling start Augmented Reality had last year, it’s amazing they managed to pull off the win.”

“And we are back, for those of you just joining in, I am Petra Maple, and this is Johnathan Archer”

“Thank you Petra, Some of you may remember Petra from her adult films such as Picking the Maple Leaf, All Anal Adventures 23, and of course Logjamming, co-starring Jackie Treehorn. Lets check in with our teams. Looks like the first two teams have already lifted off, Shadow Team is just making it to the airport now. Marius is third in line as the team runs toward the jet, up the rear ramp of the small cargo plane. The planes are piloted for our race teams, and it will fly them to a drop zone where they will parachute over some hostile terrain.”

“John it looks like we have a real race for 5th place going on here, those two limos are trading alot of paint, OH GOD!”

“Wow Petra, is that, yes I think that limo is out of the race for sure. Emergency crews may want to respond to that one, that tree came out of nowhere didn’t it? Speaking of coming out of nowhere, some of you may remember my co-host, the veluptious Petra Maple, in the film Sperm Attack 4: Out of Nowhere.”

“Thank you Johnathan.. I think they get the idea, Lets cut back to some advertisements now that all of our teams have made it to the airport…”

PREVIOUS: Mission 03 – Impound
NEXT: Side Mission 01 – Rat Race – Part 2

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